Awesome Affordable Etsy Find of the Week

"i miss you" card, $2.90

I'm definitely at the age where my friends are spreading out all over the world, which is exciting and terrifying and awesome and sad and has me buying "I miss you!" cards by the truckload. I thought this one was especially cute.

In other news, I miss you Rachel W., Rachel P., Nicci, Lindsay, Laila, Alec, Catherine, Maggie, Marcy, and Sara! Keep an eye out in your mailboxes...

High Fashion Haiku

A cashmere bangle

sounds pretty cool I guess, but
this one needs a wax.

Yarborough Jewel "Cashmere Tuft Bangle," shopbop.com

Inadvertently Ask Daddy Likey!

I cannot believe the last installment of Inadvertently Ask Daddy Likey was way back in October! I shall not let this happen again, believe me--keep an eye out for this feature monthly from this day forth!

Now, if you're an old hand here at Daddy Likey (have I mentioned before how I always screw up that saying and end up calling people "old hats" and then slowly backing away from them in the awkward, confused silence that follows?), you'll recall that Inadvertently Ask Daddy Likey is a rare but popular recurring feature in which I take a sampling of the thousands of Google search terms that have led people to my blog, and respond to them as if the searchers were soliciting my advice, which they clearly were not.

If that made no sense to you, click here for a better explanation, and if you're an old hat (no offense), read on! (Search terms in bold italic; my responses below)

i have never loved anything
Well that's a downer. You don't even love this Monty Python sketch? I LOVE this Monty Python sketch:



how to go to the bathroom in a romper
Very carefully. And preferably you take off the romper first.

letter of goodwill
Here's a letter to Goodwill-close enough?

junior high short sonnet
Umm..OK, I'll give it my best shot, but it's been awhile since I've written in iambic pentameter:

When thinking of myself in middle school
I'm haunted by the dandruff, zits, and tears
And all the douchey boys that made me drool
Who haven't changed at all throughout the years.
O lord, I should have showered everyday,
And not been quite so crippled by self-doubt
But all the pain was worth it, yes, I say
because it gave me tons to write about

guy dies wrapping a sausage around his legs
Jesus, what a way to go.

how to make an albino peacock

How to make an albino peacock

You will need:
One normal peacock
White paint

Instructions:
Coat normal peacock with white paint. Tell everyone it is an albino peacock.

can i be a nudist if i have moles?
I'm thinking if you're so self-conscious about this that you're asking google for advice, maybe the nudism thing isn't for you.

pudenda wax
On the one hand, I find this phrase very upsetting. On the other, I think it would be a great name for a punk rock band.

how did Christina Aguilera stay so tan while pregnant?
Excellent question. My guess? She was pregnant with Neutrogena's baby.

who invented the hoodie?

Alexander Graham Bell. Duh.

(photoshop by my amazing little brother)

is it possible to touch your face with your hand?
I just spent hours trying, and I'm sorry to report it's absolutely not possible.

should i kill that house centipede?
My dad would say no. I would say YES.

And the winner is...

Out of more than 300 entries, the winner of that fabulous Shabby Apple dress is....D'Rae! Congrats to the lucky lady, and thanks to everyone who entered. I especially loved hearing from all you lovely lurkers, and I hope you'll come out of the darkness again soon! (But just to be sure, I'll do more giveaways. And maybe place some bits of gourmet cheese here and there.)

Coming up later today: A new installment of Inadvertently Ask Daddy Likey!

Monday Morning Martin

[Editor's Note: Today Martin debuts a hip new profile pic, courtesy of my brother, who must have stumbled upon everyone's favorite raccoon blogger workin' overtime at Starbucks]


This sequin jumpsuit is so shiny and silky! It looks delicious. Can I be honest right now? You won't judge me? OK, so it may sound barbaric but seriously, if I got near this jumpsuit I'd probably end up eating part of it, like maybe taking some nice big bites out of the legs -- oh...


Too late.

XOXO,
Martin

Yves Saint Laurent Sequin Jumpsuit, $4350 (Now that's a must-have recessionista deal in this economy!), netaporter.com

p.s. Confused as hell about raccoon fashion bloggers? Click here for the lowdown.

Awesome Affordable Etsy Find of the Week

The KeysandMemories Etsy shop makes badass jewelry out of vintage typewriter keys. I got a "back space" necklace for my amazing editor friend awhile back, and now I'm eyeing this W ring for myself. There's a chance that if I wore it while punching someone in the face, it would leave a little "W" imprint, and I think that's worth 10 bucks right there. Also, it's super cute. Duh.

Five Men's Fashion First Impressions: The Mouse House Scaffolding Shoe

Lovely reader Dana suggested I ask the Five Men what they thought of these Jessica Simpson cut-out wedges that have been pretty popular with fashion bloggers. (Click here if you're new to Daddy Likey and want some backstory, or here if you're just bored at work and want to read the complete Five Men archives.)

And so, with utmost respect to the women who love these shoes, here are the unfiltered words of five men who (mostly) don't:

Boyfriend: Looks like this designer is doing their part to be environmentally friendly by cutting down on materials needed to make a piece of crap.

Brother, age 22: I would feel confident in them.
Me: So, quick follow-up question: Are you a drag queen?
Brother: Screw off! Pretending I'm wearing it helps me understand it.

Brother, age 19: Pro: More bird-friendly than its solid glass counterpart. Con: Ugly as fuck.

Brother, age 14: They look like a small glass framework of a mouse's house on scaffolding super-glued to a bad black shoe.

Father: There is no beauty that does not have some strangeness in the proportion.

Me: Does that mean you like them?

Father: No.

Blogback Mountain

Ambika is churning out cuteness and I love it.

Now this here is some damn good investigative reporting!

Gala Darling has some awesome tips on how to get the TSA to serenade you. (I'm guessing pink hair and metallic mouse ears help?)

My urban chickens article in this month's issue of Nat Geo got picked up by Boing Boing. LIFE DREAM COME TRUE.

Susie Bubble is totally rocking a wee little Amelia Earhart hat. She also rocks out an amazing interview here.

The simplest DIY project in the world.

The girls who write Academic Chic are so smart and pretty and stylish it makes me squeal with glee and plot ways to become BFF with them. Then I see how cute and clean their houses are and remind myself that I leave a trail of paper bits and sequins and Werthers Originals wrappers wherever I go and alas, it would never work out.

Sal kicks a few faulty fashion rules to the curb.

Then Laura kicks Glamour mag to the curb.

Liebemarlene says Southern thrifting kicks ass (in nicer words, of course, and yes, now I'm done with the "kicking" theme). I'm taking a trip to New Orleans next month so I'm loving any info about shopping down South. I'm also loving youtube clips of Guy Fieri eating Po' Boys, but that's beside the point.

This cracks me up.

And finally, the Stunning Sarah Von of Yes and Yes asked me to fill in for her while she's in Peru watching drunk men hit each other with wrenches (seriously!). Check out my guest post about the secret to becoming a chic French woman.

FREE DRESS! Get your free dress here!

Daddy Likey and the lovely ladies at Shabby Apple have teamed up to give away a fabulous dress from their fabulous collection to one of my fabulous readers!

There's a lot of fabulousness going on.

This flattering frock (retail price: $86) could be yours, absolutely free! All you have to do is leave a comment on this post. I'll choose a random winner a week from today.

Tell your friends to get in on the free dress fun too! Or don't, if you want to improve your odds. Good luck!

*Please leave your first name and last initial if you're not commenting with a blogger account. I don't want name confusion to leave our lucky winner dress-less!*

Note to international readers: Shabby Apple doesn't ship outside the US, but international readers are welcome to enter the giveaway--if you win, we'll just have the dress shipped to me and I'll send it along to you!

UPDATE: Out of more than 300 glorious comments, the winner of the fabulous Shabby Apple dress is....D'Rae! Congrats to the lucky lady, and thanks to everyone who entered. I especially loved hearing from all the lurkers, and I hope you'll come out of the darkness again soon! (But just to be sure, I'll do more giveaways.)

Tie Dye Tights Outfit Attempt #1

When: Saturday afternoon

Where: At the park, making daisy chain crowns with my friend Katelyn

Strategy: Pair crazy colorful tights with all-black outfit to let them have center stage

Wearing: These tights from welovecolors.com, $10 black flats from Marshalls, skirt from American Apparel, tanktop and cardigan from Marshalls (yes, I really love Marshalls), peacoat from Macy's in DC (the black peacoat peer pressure in DC was immense! I gave in and bought one within days of my arrival, even though it was 90 degrees out)

Next goal: Pair crazy colorful tights with colorful outfit. Try not to look like a crazy woman.

URGENT CHOCHA REPORT

I received tons of hilarious emails about this dress, which I think deserves its very own Don't Show-cha Your Chocha entry:

Ummm, yeah.

Below, a sampling of reader commentary:

Elise: This prom dress is a lesson in anatomy. It was actually replaced with a different photo on the website, one less "open for business." I guess because too many people called and cried out, "Dear God what is that thing?!"

Jennifer: Well, it's not really close to being exposed, but it's kinda like having a neon sign says that says "CHOCHA HERE".

Laura: I feel like this could be OK in a different color...or it could instead become Alien Vulva.

Beatrix: My little sister was looking through prom dresses the other day and well... she found something that's not so much don't show-cha your chocha as it is an oversized outline of a vag.

Emily: Exactly whose father lets them out of the house wearing this on prom night?

Thanks so much to everyone who alerted me about this. You guys rock! And keep the chochas comin'! daddylikeyblog@gmail.com

p.s. Click here to check out the frantically photoshopped version of this dress.

Awesome Affordable Etsy Find of the Week

Decided this will be a weekly feature--fun Etsy impulse buys for less than 10 bucks. Hope you enjoy the first installment!

Giant Bow, $6.

I bought a giant blue and black plaid bow from this shop a few months ago, and while I have yet to wear it out of the house, there is rarely a moment at home when I'm not fiddling with it giddily or clipping it onto the top of my head or tying it around the neck of an old teddy bear whom I then address as Winston Churchill and engage in intense policy debates. (Working from home gets lonely, OK?) In short, this mega bow makes me mega happy.

If you wanted to do more normal things with your giant bow*, might I suggest threading it onto a necklace, making your own easy awesome headband, clipping it onto a simple cardigan, or sewing it onto a scarf, hat, or belt?

The possibilities are endless, and in these trying times, I think we could all use a big, happy bow. Or maybe ten. But I suppose that would defeat the whole saving money thing.


*I can't write the phrase "Giant Bow" without envisioning a movie version called Giant Beau which would presumably be a zany romantic comedy starring Andre the Giant, even though I'm pretty sure he's dead. Must go brainstorm plotlines with Winston!

Trash Bag Trendsetter

If you've been reading this blog for, I don't know, 2.5 years, you'll recall the harrowing tale of my utilitarian survivalist father mutilating my brand new GAP raincoat to the point that I opted to wear a black trash bag poncho to camp instead.

While browsing ShopBop's sale section yesterday (one of my favorite forms of entertainment, both for the potential deals and the opportunity to smugly say, "Hmph, I wonder why that's on sale"), I was shocked to see the exact black trash bag poncho I wore circa 1996, looking just as awkward and miserable on a professional model:

The only difference? This one is by Sass & Bide and retails for over $400 (although it is currently half price), while I believe mine was by Hefty and sold for a few cents. And even more horrifying? This one is also a romper:

Seriously though, this is actually a trash bag, right?

Don't Show-cha Your Chocha, Volume XVIII

That's right, it's finally time for another installment of the ever-popular, always classy Don't Show-cha Your Chocha! If you're just joining Daddy Likey, you can read the very first incarnation of DSYC right here to get the scoop, and if you're an old pro at this chocha business (I'm looking at you, WendyB), then read on, sister, read on.

First up, this sassy lil' (very lil') number sent in by Sophie:

She says: So for nearly $500, you get this...swatch of fabric.

Here we have a classic case of crossed-legs-to-save-dignity:

Says the lovely Pea Jai: This is Keri Hilson on the red carpet for the BET Hip-Hop Awards. Looks like she may reveal her own carpet later in the show.

Poor Cindy wrote me an email saying, "Imagine my horror when an AOL link reads: "Latest Fashion Trend: No Pants". I cautiously click to reveal a headline which reads: "No Pants is the New Skinny Jean" and this picture:

Not quite a chocha, but we'll throw it in for good measure. Hopefully Cindy is receiving the therapy she needs.

Amanda discovered the elusive Holy Trinity of Chocha:

Don't stare directly into this picture. God knows what could happen.

Next, we have a couple runway chochas:

From the ever-vigilant Stephanie: This Sophia Koksalaki dress says, Behold! Chocha! (And I say, "GOOD GOD.")

And from the fabulous Jennine:

I was browsing through the shows, and noticed something from alexander mcqueen that might fit on dont showcha your chocha...

Oooop, wait, hold up, I'm getting word that reader Cal has sent us a CELINE DION CHOCHA EXCLUSIVE!

She reports: A friend of mine took this at a recent concert and when I saw it I immediately thought of "Don't show-cha your chocha." I would try to think of a witty comment about Celine showing that much but I'm too stunned by how proud of her chocha she looks to say anything besides...wow.

Here's a costume that might interest Ms. Dion:

Says Beth: And what's even better is that this dress can be yours for only $15! That's like, a week's worth of lattes. You know it's a worthwhile sacrifice.

In what may be my favorite chocha caption ever, Lindsay says:

I'm about to see this Disney-bot's Minnie Mouse.

This gem is from Claire:

I was innocently browsing the Urban Outfitter's website the other day, when I came across this image, and I knew the cocha police had to be alerted. This girl is wearing a shirt, and clearly trying not to expose everything in front of the photographer, although I think it's too late.

Reader Cori says: I never expected Liz Phair to don an outfit worthy of Don't Show-cha Your Chocha. And then Liz Phair proved her wrong:

It looks like Liz had two ways of dealing with her DSYC moment- starting with the sly leg cross, and if all else failed, side stepping behind that conveniently tall (or short) bar stool.

Here's an adorable vintage dress that is maybe supposed to be an adorable vintage shirt:

Says Joy: Her ankles are daintily crossed in an attempt to conceal the intense squeezing action; she is even gripping her waist to keep it all together!

And finally, Lana sent me an email titled, "This dress IS a chocha!" that contained the photo below*:

Her wise summation: Seriously, could any garment look more like a vulva than this? I DIDN'T THINK SO.

*Yes, I know the photo is blurry. I tried to fix it, but it's probably better this way.

Now, I want YOU to be vigilant in your online shopping journeys, and keep an eye out for any too-high-hemlines, shirts-worn-as-dresses, peekaboo-crotch-cut-outs, and maybe even garments that look like vulvas. Send them to me at daddylikeyblog@gmail.com and your find could be featured in an upcoming installment of DSYC! Put THAT on your resume and try not to get a job in this economy.

Can't get enough chocha? (Wow, that sentence should draw a good crowd to my blog...) Click here to waste some of your work day browsing the official DSYC archives!

Dear Daddy Likey: Strapped for a Strapped Prom Dress

Dear Daddy Likey,

It seems like all "prom" dresses I like are strapless, and I don't do no straps. Perhaps it is because I am self conscious of my chest size, but whenever I dare strapless those two just seem to be too out of control and wild if you catch my drift.

When my school does prom it is a lot more clubby in that it is at a club and for the most part no one wears long floor length dresses.

I want something cute and vintage that is hip and formal enough but still fun. Like Katy Perry but more fabric?

Signed,
Strapped for a Strapped Dress

Dear Strapped,

Searching for dress options for you, I had to wade through what seemed like thousands of dresses without a strap in sight, so I totally understand your frustration. I also understand your preference for straps: The few times in my life I've dared to go strapless I've been pulled over by the police and asked if I had a permit for those things (I don't). In addition, I once witnessed the tragic and rapid descent of a strapless top from my friend Carolyn's bosom in the middle of the dance floor of a seedy club called The Meat Market. Hopefully your prom will not be held at The Meat Market.

I found a few options for you that I think meet your parameters of cute, retro, Katy-Perry-esque prom dresses with straps; and priced around 50 bucks and under, for good measure:

Brooch polka dot halter formal, $39.99, gojane.com

How cute and retro and fun is this one? Imagine it with high heels and a killer updo, and wow if you're not Katy Perry with more fabric and more style!

Floral belted dress, $46, alloy.com

A little less conventional, a little less formal, but definitely gorgeous, hip, and accommodating of supportive undergarments.

Greta dress in stretch satin, $58.00, pinupgirlclothing.com
Total. Bombshell. Love it. (Although if you'd like to look a little less bombshell-ish, you could put a cute lace camisole under that plunging neckline.)

Speaking of bombshell...

Shirred v-cut formal, $50.99, gojane.com

I love the color and the flattering cut of this dress. Also comes in pink and black.

Sequin racerback dress, $35, forever21.com

Cheap dresses with sequins are always a good choice because they leave shiny little trails indicating your whereabouts. If you were to get separated from your friends at The Meat Market, for example, they could just follow the trail of black sequins to the bathroom, where you would be hiding and praising Jesus that you decided to wear a dress with straps.

Also check out eBay, thrift shops, affordable vintage boutiques, and discount stores like Marshalls and TJ Maxx. I swear you'll find some supercute dresses, straps included, and you'll be the belle of the ball!