Wednesday, October 21, 2009

A Conversation About Jeggings (featuring the Five Men!)

You guys have heard of jeggings, right? It's the technical term for leggings that look like jeans, which are quickly gaining in popularity. Here's an example:

Ooooh are they jeans or are they leggings? They're jeggings!

A couple weeks ago I was hanging out with my friend Milena, and she said, "I just got these new pants that are, like, a jeans-legging hybrid, and I'm in LOVE with them!"

"Oh, you mean jeggings?" I asked, and then we both went, "Eeeeeewww!" because jeggings is the grossest word ever.

But despite our initial exclamation of disgust, for the rest of the day it was "jeggings" this and "jeggings" that--we must have said "jeggings" 400 times between noon and 6PM--because this awful little word is strangely fun to say. Seriously, say it out loud: jeggings. It's a phonetic delight.

Now, cut to last night: my whole family is sitting on the floor of a Moroccan restaurant for my brother's birthday dinner. I randomly asked if anyone else has heard of jeggings, and this live, spontaneous edition of Five Men's Fashion First Impressions happened (luckily my mom threw me a pen in time for me to record it):

Brother, age 14: What's a jegging?

Brother, age 20: No, no, we can figure this out!

Brother, age 22: Yeah, it should be simple.

Mom: I met someone once who was named after her dad who was named Stan and her mom who was named Anette, and her name was Stanette. Is it like that?

Me: Kind of.

Brother, age 14: OK, let's break this down. It's obviously a verb, meaning "to jeg." But what is "jeg?"

Brother, age 20: Grouse hunting.

Brother, age 22: Don't be a dumbass. It's obviously scallop farming.

Boyfriend: Yeah, scallops! That sounds right.

Brother, age 20: A "jegging" is the special boot German people wear to go grouse hunting.

Brother, age 22: No, "jeggings" are soft-soled scallop-farming shoes.

Me: What in the hell are you guys talking about?

Brother, age 14: Yo, this is jeggings 101!

Boyfriend: How do you hunt scallops?

Dad: Scallops are actually good little swimmers.

Brother, age 22: That's it. Jeggings are scallop-hunting shoes.

Boyfriend: I second that.

Brother, age 14: Me too.

Brother, age 20: They're grouse-hunting boots.

Dad: I think it has something to do with bird eggs. The Jaeger is a predatory seabird.

And there you have it.

43 comments:

TheSundayBest said...

Sounds like your mom needs to get in on this action. Stanette!

KD said...

I love it! Your family members geniuses. :-)

sara zucker said...

i peed. i swear to god, i just peed, and that's how you know this post is good.

Ashe Mischief said...

Best.ever.

saturdayjane said...

Nice to see that your family is as quick-witted as you are. :)

I have seen jeggings in pictures, but never glimpsed them in the wild. I want to know if they're made of denim, or just some sort of patterned whatever-the-hell-leggings-are-made-out-of.

The universe holds many mysteries.

Bekah said...

ahahaah "okay let's break this down"
it's like a secret coded message
I love it

I'm now strangely tempted to buy a shirt with the word "jeggings" on it and have conversations about what it means/hear other people have conversations about what it means

Jennifer Babbitt said...

1. Your family is wait for it............awesome
2. Jeggings aren't living their "Truth"
My mom just gave me some tacky catalogue where you can order soft cotton, acid washed pants that look like jeans. That's what I said. ( I by the way ordered some bump-its for my dogs for only $6.99 from said catalogue)

Rosie Unknown said...

You may need to rename this series: Five Men and and One Woman.

jess said...

jeggings > Stanette

Amy said...

Your dads comments always crack me up. Definately the best FMFFI ever!

millie said...

They are leggings, like the spandex stretch-pants that your wore in fourth grade with a big minnie-mouse t-shirt. Only they have pockets, so you can wear them to your adult-job and not feel compltetely inappropriate. You could even wear them grouse-hunting in Germany, if you felt so inclined. It's the evolution of the stretchpant! It's THE JEGGING. Come on...say it.

märica said...

Hey Winona!
I don't know if you remember me, we met once a couple of years ago when Lindsay was living on Orchard Avenue... I was her post-Meg roommate.
Anyways, I check your blog every so often and I have to say that this post ranks as one of my favorite ones. Your family sounds about as awesome (read: STRANGE) as mine.
Keep it up! Congratulations on your new book!

Adrienne said...

This is hilarious - but aren't these just skinny jeans? I go to a high school and everywhere you look there are jeans as tight as this, and they're jeans, not jeggings.

daddylikeyblog said...

SaturdayJane and Adrienne--
The difference between jeggings and jeans is the material--jeggings are made from the exact same spandexy cotton as leggings, and just printed (or sometimes have pockets added) to look like denim. Also, jeggings jeggings jeggings!

Marica--
Hey! Of course I remember you--the fact that you willingly chose to major in math has haunted my dreams for the past three years. Hope you're doing well, and if you're in P-Town, you should come to the book launch party!

Alpha Monkey said...

The aesthetic problem with jeggings (or leans or skinny fit low rise anything) is they throw the body's proportions SO far out of whack. Like fun house mirror out of whack. Why would anyone want to widen their hip area by cutting it in half visually while simultaneously tapering down to pointy little ankles? Think truncated cone. Or Barbie whacked off at the knees. These are troubling times indeed.

iz said...

You think the word jegging is gross because subconsciously you know that it's a Brazilian expletive meaning "donkey" (I swear I'm not making this up).

Michelle said...

But...why wouldn't you just buy tight jeans?

I don't understand jeggings at all.

Kitty said...

These consistently fail to look good on ANYBODY! Really! I don't get it.

pristine said...

The worst thing is when you stand behind girls wearing "jegging", look down and end up seeing more of them than you care to, if you know what I mean...I'd say they should layer another pair of tights underneath, but really, they shouldn't be wearing leggings as pants in the first place, because of all these transparency issues.

Kim said...

I've said it before, but I seriously want your family to adopt me.
I think Jeggings might be a little more comfortable than skinny jeans - the stretch factor.

Sher said...

LOL! I call them pencil skinnies. A new marketing technique for the same jeans LOL!

Sal said...

Oh lord. "Scallops are actually good little swimmers" had me in stitches. As did your mom's comment. She was WAY closer than the boys, too!

piccola samurai said...

Great!
I love how men are sometimes so naif when it comes to fashion!

FB @ FabulouslyBroke.com said...

LOL!!!!

Brother, age 22: That's it. Jeggings are scallop-hunting shoes.

Dad: I think it has something to do with bird eggs. The Jaeger is a predatory seabird.

Best 2 lines, ever.

My belly hurts from laughing now.

futurelint said...

I am confused by the jegging as well, so I feel the pain of the five men. It's one of those things I put in the "I'll NEVER wear that catagory" but I know Chloe or someone will come out with a fantastic version that will change my mind and I'll be all "Damnit... I'm buying jeggings."

Amanda M. said...

Best. FMFFI. Ever.

You need to do it like this more often. They're hilarious when you get them together!

And let your mom in on it more often, too!

Juliet said...

I can just imagine this happening :D.

juliet xxx

lisa said...

Michelle, jeggings don't create the lumpy bumps that belt loops and a fly can on even the tightest of skinny jeans. Since they're made of a thinner material, I think you'd have an easier time of tucking them into jeans too.

This was a priceless convo, Winona! I never knew jeggings were so connected to the animal world. The things I learn from the Five Men...

Janet said...

I wear jeggings there's nothing wrong with them at all. They are quite comfortable and they're sexy as hell.

dearilou said...

Wow. I totally want a pair of soft soled scallop farming shoes. Though, actually, you'd probably want hard soles for scallop hunting...

~Jolene'sMemoryKeeping said...

wow that was a bit ...random. I have to say this is great!

Ariel said...

nona, you need to meet my brother. i make him read yoour blog sometimes, particularly the 5 men, and the chochas. he says such funny things, i cry. i weep and you are missing out.

chic said...

Brilliant! S.

EJ said...

I now really want someone to make scallop hunting shoes. (and preferably name them jeggings, just to confuse matters further.

I keep seeing women in jeggings, nudging the boyfriend in the ribs and stage-whispering 'jeggings' at him. I think he knows what I mean by now.

Courtney said...

Oh My... This is gold! Gold, I tell you!! lol Snap. Your family is crazy, and I love it. It kinda makes me miss my brother, and almost miss my parents. ;)

Irishbugblog said...

Thats the funniest thing I've read in a long time...

ambika said...

Scallop hunting shoes is only something you could think up in the northwest. Available at REI of course.

enc said...

Hurrah!

Men are so brilliant.

rubybastille said...

...Jeggermeister?

Fashion Court said...

i actually bought these and i effing love them. i just did a review on my blog and linked back to this :o)

giz89 said...

your family is awesome!! haha its OBVIOUSLY scallop farming.

Alli said...

http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/39/2009/11/500x_lisatweet11609.jpg

Lisa Rinna is now educated on jeggings! The tweet made me think of this post.

Emily Kennedy said...

One of the seriously best posts ever.

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