Don't Show-cha Your Chocha!

As I mentioned last week, due to a staggering/awesome backlog of chocha sightings, I'm experimenting with making Don't Show-cha Your Chocha a more frequent feature--probably every Friday, to help you waste time at work--so here's your hearty serving of disastrously short hemlines for this week!

We'll start off the show with this submission from Dao, who sent me a worrisome email stating that the "chocha showiness has become a global epidemic:"

She says: I was shocked to see a teen magazine in Vietnam featured such a chocharific picture! It's no longer just a problem in the U.S. Other countries are catching up as well! The model actually looks really happy in the picture--she obviously did not read Daddy Likey.

Here's one from reader Elle:

The scoop: I saw this outfit from Veejay Floresca of the Philippines Project Runway finalists and said "OMG Daddy Likey!" So here it is for you.

Amelia sent in the following picture of Kate Beckinsale, titled, "Need I say more?"

No, Amelia, Kate's clenched thighs definitely say it all.

PAGING WENDYB, lover of butt bows:

Says Hailey: This dress would probably just barely cover, but even so... THE CHOCHA BOW?!?!?!

Am I the only one who gets excited when they receive an email titled, "Webbed Chocha!"?

Yeah? Oh well, thanks for the thrill, Elaine!

Jessica thought I "might appreciate this slightly different way to show-cha one's chocha:"

Definitely. Appreciated.

And finally, a few fabulous readers sent this one in:

Says Kim: This is Lisa Rinna, the one with the scary lips who used to be on a Star Trek or something and was married to that hot Harry Hamlin guy I think. The picture is from Go Fug Yourself and I'm so glad they called her on this since the woman owns a boutique!

And Erinn: One can only imagine what was going through Lisa Rinna's mind here. I'm going to assume it was along the lines of "Maybe if I wear panty hose, no one will realize this is actually a shirt!"

And Jessie: Tights are not pants. Sheer tights are REALLY not pants!

Seriously, there's no such thing as too much chocha, so keep the awesome submissions comin', and stay tuned for next week's installment! daddylikeyblog@gmail.com

Blogback Mountain: New Blogs, or Blogs That Are New To Me Edition

Sara Zucker writes a great fashion blog on Tumblr, and has just created a new daily outfit blog. Here's her reasoning behind it:

I’ve decided to document my daily outfits for a few different reasons. i think that this will give me added incentive to do the following: step outside of my comfort zone, make use of the contents of my closet, make new e-friends, and inspire curvier girls. the latter is the most important. i’ve noticed that there is a huge void in body type with the authors of outfit documentation blogs. trust me, i love looking at a lanky girl (i read vogue, don’t i?), they always seem to make clothes look great, but it isn’t realistic for me to attempt the same looks.

Hear, hear! I've been thinking of adding more outfit photos to my blog, but it's been so hot lately I've been living in grungy cutoffs and sweat-drenched tanktops. For now, I think I'll just soak up some inspiration from Sara.

I just discovered Between Laundry Days through Twitter. This girl kicks some major style ass. I mean, look at her:

She's even working that arm cast! I kind of want to start wearing one now.

The Glamourai is totally, well, glamorous. Check her out.

I've also been loving The Year of Living Thriftily, which is written by an super stylish gal who has committed to wearing nothing but secondhand clothing.

And read this.

Help! I'm moving to France and I don't want to look gross!

Dear Daddy Likey,

I'm in a bit of a time crunch. You see, I'm going to France as an exchange student, for a year. I was originally going to leave in December, but circumstances have changed and I now have the opportunity to go... in a month. Besides all the paperwork (AHHHH!!!!) I have to do to apply for a visa, I was planning on updating my wardrobe for the trip. Since French people are all French... and awesome and fashionista-y, I feel like I will be completely uncomfortable and gross in my normal boxy t-shirt and jeans ensemble. I'm a rising Junior, and I'll be living in Southern France (you have permission to swoon.), and I am short on funds (it's a rather expensive trip). I would appreciate any tips, suggestions, or advice you have for me about what to wear, what to pack, and all that other fun stuff.

Merci beaucoup,
Foreign Exchange Faux Pas

Dear Foreign,

First things first: SWOOOOOOOONNNNN!!

Ahem, now that that's out of the way, here's my number 1 top advice: Traveling, even to idyllic, fashionable France, is not a good reason to drastically alter your style. Whenever I'm packing for a trip, I dig around in the back of my closet for my coolest, wildest clothes that I never wear in my normal life, convinced that "Traveling Winona" is cool enough to wear them. Upon arriving at my destination, I am horrified to realize that "Traveling Winona," doesn't actually exist, and "Regular Winona" is now stuck in an unfamiliar locale with a suitcase full of leopard print maxi dresses and 7-inch heels.

Traveling to idyllic, fashionable France is, however, a good reason to slightly alter your style, especially if you've been feeling insecure about your jeans and t-shirts. My advice: Mix up your wardrobe enough that you feel stylish and comfortable in this new place, but not so much that you feel like you accidentally grabbed the wrong suitcase from baggage claim.

Here, take a look at this photo:

image via Garance Dore

What are the first words that come to mind when you see this girl? Chic? Stylish? European? Fabulous hair? WHY THE HELL CAN'T I LOOK LIKE THAT WHEN I RIDE A BIKE??

Sorry. Still need to work on my cute-girl-on-a-bike jealousy issues.

The point is, this girl is basically just wearing a t-shirt and jeans. Sure, she has supermodel good looks going for her, but anyone could throw on an outfit similar to this and look comfortable and put together.

Here are a few tips to easily (and cheaply) tweak your t-shirt and jeans uniform to up your style quotient:

Choose the right t-shirt
There's a big difference between a boxy white t-shirt emblazoned with the date and location of your last family reunion, and a great-fitting t-shirt in a super flattering color. GAP has a bunch of colorful tees with pretty details on sale right now for, like, $2 each. Load up on a few of those in your favorite colors, and pair them with some cuffed jeans and big sunglasses.

Don't underestimate the power of cute shoes
If you've never been into wearing high heels, you might not want to start practicing amidst this month of frantic packing and bribing the state department to overnight your visa. Instead, try some chic ballet flats, some lower height heels, or more manageable wedges. Aim for the comfortable, stylish footwear middle ground between sneakers and platform stilettos.

Zinc "Eunice," $27.90, 6PM.com

Add a scarf
I wrote about this concept more in depth here, but seriously--want to know the only difference between a frumpy tourist and a chic Parisian? A scarf.

To summarize: You don't have to abandon your old style, just reinterpret it according to your new surroundings. And eat a lot of croissants. And read this, if you want to feel a little less intimidated.

Any lovely readers have other suggestions for our harried exchange student-to-be?

Five Men's Fashion First Impressions!

It's time again for Five Men's Fashion First Impressions, the ever-popular recurring feature in which I show an avant-garde piece of clothing or accessory to the five men in my life and record their snap judgments. Today, at the request of lovely reader Devora, I showed the men these skull purses:


And here's what they said:

Brother, age 14: What is it? (Long pause) No, seriously, what is it?
Me: A purse.
Brother, age 14: Ooohhhhh! I want one! Chrome finish, please.

Boyfriend: Is this like a new goth trend? One of my coworkers would really like these, but she got fired for taking heroin and passing out at the meat slicer.

Brother, age 22: It looks like the skull is gasping for breath through a dry cleaning bag.

Brother, age 19: After 'Police Station,' these rank at the top of the list of Worst Places to Hide Human Skull from Police

Father: Yow! (Closely examining the photo) Well, they're only marginally good skulls to begin with, from an anatomical standpoint. They're self-consciously stupid, as far as I'm concerned.
Me: I kind of thought you might want one.
Father: No.
Me: Really?
Father: I already have a skull.
[Editor's note: He does. It's on a shelf in his office.]

Got a request for the Five Men? Email me! daddylikeyblog@gmail.com

Awesome Affordable Etsy Find of the Week!

Custom Polaroid Necklace, $15

Just email a photo to Etsy seller shefeltpink, and they will turn it into the cutest little Polaroid necklace, all for 15 bucks. Is that not the coolest thing ever?

Which photo would you guys pick? I'm torn between a pretty flower, my family, or AJ McLean of the Backstreet Boys. Leaning heavily toward AJ.

Don't Show-cha Your Chocha!

Yes, it's time for another installment of Don't Show-cha Your Chocha, also known as Someone Give That Model a Damn Pair of Pants! (click here for a slightly better explanation). I've been getting so many fantastic reader emails lately (thanks and keep 'em coming!) that I'm thinking of making DSYC a weekly feature, so stay tuned, and don't fret if you haven't seen your submission yet--there's plenty more where these came from!

Reader Margaret starts things off with this find from--where else?--Shopbop:

Says Margaret: It's like they chopped the skirt off of a Victorian dress to make it more
chocha-esque.

The rascally Katy sent me an email titled, "You'll NEVER guess where I found this chocha," and as my mind raced with thoughts of risque Mennonite church services, I opened the attached photo to find this:

Katy's message: Shopbop, of course!

Skye submitted this photo of a very uncomfortable looking pose:

Sweet mother of Jesus, what happens when she has to walk up stairs?

From Michelle, via Urban Outfitters:

She says: They call this dress "The Harlem Stripe." I call it thank God she's wearing leggings.

I looooove this one from reader Rachel, who prefers the pose on the right:

Man, yeah, that's subtle.

I'm not known for my follow-through, so I'm guessing that if I were to attempt to knit a floor-length gown, the final product might end up looking like this:

But, as Amelia says: This dress is clearly a cry for help!

Check out this super dramatic chocha moment:

Says Nina: Um is that skirt turned the wrong way?

Taylor found this awesome, awesome chocha moment on the Forever 21 website:

She says: I don't know how they expect this girl to relax when she's sitting on some guy's lap with no pants on. She looks very worried.

Next 3 are from the lovely Lianna:

Again, we should probably thank God for leggings.

And finally, Caroline passed along this hilarious--if unconventional--submission:


Her explanation: So this isn't really a dress or a shirt that is too short and shows off the chocha area....but I just had to pass it on anyways because if you want people to see your chocha without actually showing your chocha, you can wear this shirt--with its helpful diagram!

Spotted a Don't Show-cha Your Chocha moment? Send it to me at daddylikeyblog@gmail.com!

Awesome Affordable Etsy Find of the Week

Green Bead Earrings, $11

These earrings remind me of a sexy dagger, or a dangerous fang, or a delicious jalapeno, all of which are awesome connotations. Plus, Ambika made them, and I like her almost as much as I like jalapenos.

High Fashion Haiku: Decapitated Hipster Edition

Advertising tip:
I relate more to models
with, you know, a head.

Horrifying American Apparel ad sent to me by reader Molly. Thanks!

What To Wear To College

Dear Daddy Likey,

I'm going to college in the fall, and I was wondering what you think are the wardrobe essentials for a university student. I rely (probably too much) on lists to help me get through things like clothes shopping, and your opinions on what I (and other college students) should buy/bring as freshman would be awesome.

Signed,
Lusting for a List

Dear Lusting,

What a great question! I thought it best to break up my answer into two separate lists, one composed of "Ideal" recommendations--those pieces of clothing that a freshman would/should wear if all the stars lined up and she woke up on time and had any extra money to buy them and felt motivated at all to put them on--and then the "Reality" list, composed of the clothes that most college freshmen actually end up wearing. (Hey, no shame! Well, the pajama pants are definitely shameful, but we'll get to that in a second.)

I think you'll be most successful if you mix and match pieces from each list, according to your own preferences, budget, and the style at your university*. And remember, these are just some basic guidelines--college is the perfect time to experiment with your look, so don't forget to have fun with fashion!

*Of course, none of this advice applies to art students, those lucky academics who could wear a dress made of maxi-pads to a thesis presentation and see their credibility skyrocket. With a mix of jealousy and reverence, I salute you!

Let's get started:

Ideally: Blazer or Fitted Jacket

Seriously, get yourself a cute little blazer or jacket that fits you just right and makes you look put-together and professional. Even if your normal style is, like, workout pants and a ratty t-shirt, and you feel kind of weird buying and/or wearing a blazer, just do it, because let me tell you, college is a land of opportunity, and many of these opportunities (academic panel, dream job interview, class presentation, etc.) call for a cute little blazer.

Sashimi Boyfriend Blazer, on sale for $37.90, Nordstrom

Really, though: Hooded Sweatshirt with University Logo

I remember my freshman year, I loaded up my cheap dorm dresser drawers with a fairly impressive Carrie Bradshaw wannabe wardrobe--a vast array of tutus and lace camisoles and high heels--but after about a week it became clear that every single other person on campus (besides the art students, duh) stuck to a strict dress code of jeans, flip-flops, and baggy Oregon State University sweatshirts.

In a half-hearted attempt to fit in, I began pairing my tutus and heels with baggy OSU hoodies. Looking back, this was maybe not the best plan, but just be warned that, in America at least, the school logo sweatshirt is as ubiquitous in college classrooms as overpriced textbooks, torturous hangovers, and the word "hegemony."

________

Ideally: Your Favorite Pair of Jeans (and a nice pair, too)

Basically, the key to a satisfying college wardrobe is to have a stock of fairly simple, comfortable, flattering pieces that don't take a lot of effort but make you look pulled together and presentable. While it's totally fine to bust out your ripped denim a few times a week, try to bring/buy a pair of unquestionably nice jeans that can take you from the classroom to your after-school job to date night.

Truck Jeans Stretch Wide Leg Jean, $39.50, Alloy.com

Really, though: Pajama Pants

So, this one I do have a problem with. Going to college is awesome because you have the freedom to do a lot of things you never had the freedom to before, like enjoy seven square meals of chow mein per day, or tell people you grew up on a llama farm and your given name is "Aphid," or, yes, wear your pajama pants to school. And thus, thousands--perhaps millions--of college students use this newfound freedom as an excuse to wear zany penguin-print pajama pants to their History of Conflict in Palestine class, which is upsetting.

________

Ideally: A Simple Skirt or Dress

Get a simple skirt or dress in a really cozy fabric like cotton jersey, and I guarantee you'll find yourself slipping it on for classes, parties, study times, dorky field trips to the grocery store with your roommates, etc. It's a great, versatile piece that will take you far.

Madeleine Spaghetti Dress, $17.80, Forever21

Really, though: Teeny Tiny Gym Shorts

Many freshmen, upon realizing they can get real-life academic credit for classes like "volleyball," "walking," and "underwater basket weaving," find it hard to abandon their physical education clothes for their real clothes, no matter what class they're attending. I totally approve of being comfy for your classes (as long as being comfy doesn't involve pajama pants), but by your junior and senior year, unless you've decided to major in PE, try a cute skirt or some actual pants instead.

________

Ideally: A Button-Up Blouse

When I was a TA in a communications class my senior year, I met a student who was--how should I put this? Is there a Smashmouth lyric to describe it? Oh yeah!--not the sharpest tool in the shed. She wasn't stupid, but she definitely wasn't smart, you know? And yet, somehow this girl had a solid reputation for being one of the brightest students in the class, if not the entire university, if not the entire universe. How did she cultivate such an epic rep? Well, while most of her classmates shuffled into class wearing ripped jeans, ironic t-shirts, and flip-flops, this girl strutted in everyday wearing a crisp button-up blouse and tailored slacks. She looked smart and successful, and therefore consistently received grades, respect, and accolades to match. Take note, incoming freshmen!

Sandra Ingrish Stripe Pintuck Blouse, $44.90, Nordstrom

Really, though: A T-Shirt

You'll probably end up throwing on a cute T-shirt most days, which is totally fine, but keep that button-up blouse and blazer handy--you never know when you might need them!

________

Ideally: Comfy, Versatile Flats

Most freshmen don't have cars (although if you do, man you're gonna be popular), so your first year of school will inevitably involve a great deal of walking. Comfortable shoes are imperative. Cute, comfortable shoes are highly recommended.

Blowfish Segment Tie Dye Flats, $44.50, Delias.com

Really, though: Flip-Flops

Freshmen dutifully buy a new pair of flip-flops to avoid the horrifying fungal infections lurking in the dorm showers, then end up wearing them every day for 4-5 years.

________

Some extra ideas for you cute lil' list addicts:

• Fabulous sunglasses
• Cozy slippers
• Black leggings (great layering piece)
• Slouchy cardigan
• Approximately 1000 ribbed cotton tank tops
  
• Knit beanie
• A cashmere sweater (for glamorous lounging purposes--find one at the thrift store!)
  
• Nerdy glasses
• A few different colors of tights
  
• A nice leather belt
• Boots
• Colorful scarves
  
• Little black dress (cliche, but priceless)
• Jewelry, jewelry, jewelry!
  

I'd love to hear other suggestions from readers! What were your wardrobe essentials as a bright-eyed young freshman? What did you wear that you wish you didn't? What didn't you wear and wish you did?

Awesome Affordable Etsy Find of the Week

Feather Hairpiece, $12

This feather hair clip is super cute and all, but my main motivation for posting it is that today I tried on a $6.95 pink feather headdress at the Enchanted Forest gift shop and then decided not to buy it.

BIGGEST REGRET OF MY LIFE.

I have a feeling that a large portion of my time and income will now be devoted to seeking out and purchasing pink feathery hair accessories, desperately trying to fill the void left by the giftshop gag gift that got away.

P.S. Not sure if my friend Katelyn feels the same way about her neon headband shown above, but if so I might need to start scouting Etsy for reflective safety tape accessories to quell her sad yearning as well.

Pretty Dress Filler

Today I'm taking a road trip to the Enchanted Forest, which is sort of like Disneyland if Disneyland were approximately 50 times smaller, situated in a dense Oregon forest, and included a 25-foot play structure shaped like a witch head. Jealous yet?

I didn't want you to have to look at the bejeweled beef jerky panties while I was gone, though, so check out this pretty dress instead:

Ooooh, pretty!

Have a great day, lovelies! I'll be back tomorrow!

Floral Shop Dress, $69.99, modcloth.com

Martin Meets the Sexiest Underwear Ever

Hi. Martin here.

You guys know that if I had to list my top favorite things it would look like this:

1. Beef jerky
2. Rhinestones

So you can imagine how excited I am that a brilliant Etsy seller finally combined the two, and in the form of some flattering panties!

Yes, that's really bedazzled beef jerky. Dreams do come true.

And for only $139? I've gotta start a PayPal donation account, stat!

XOXO,
Martin

"Brief Jerky," $139, here.

P.S. Wondering why a raccoon is writing a fashion blog? Click here.

P.P.S.S. Thanks, Kyle!

Blogback Mountain

A part of me wants to make an awesome skirt for my sink like this, but a bigger part of me knows that everytime I saw it I'd be like, "Dude, sink, where do you get off wearing cuter clothes than me?"

National Geographic Traveler is polling people about what makes their city great. My friend Whitney has some fabulous answers about DC that have me yearning to go back!

Have you guys tried the new "Rumspringa" cocktail? It's super tasty but be careful--after a few of 'em you may find it difficult to go back to the ol' ox and plow.

Princess Poochie is awesome because she took a simple trip to the drugstore and ended up decked out in drunken harlot makeup with a miniature deer on her head.

The Lovely Lisa has an article in Vancouver Fashion eZine! Congrats, girl!

OMG OMG some of my favorite Portland bloggers are having a big craft sale/ice cream party on July 25th. I can't wait to meet some cool ladies, buy some cool stuff, and eat some delish pie. See you there?

Speaking of local awesomeness and favorite Portland bloggers, check out Abby's gorgeous photos of her field trip to Hood River Lavender Farms.

OK, so I know every week I'm like, "I love Sal! She rocks!" but, you know, I just love Sal. She rocks!

I love Lady Smaggle too. God, I'm full of love this week!

What terms of endearment do you use with your partner? I'm fond of "Lovey," "Dude," "Missy," and "Heeeeeyyy yoooouuuu can I have a foot rub while I watch Primetime: Crime?"

Sarah has a great post about the downsides of being pleasant, even though last week a Scientologist made a graph to prove that she is very unpleasant. I don't know who to trust!

And finally, you should totally read Design Is Mine if you don't already. It's so pretty I have to stop myself from licking my screen multiple times daily.

Inadvertently Ask Daddy Likey!

That's right, it's time once again for Inadvertently Ask Daddy Likey!, in which I scour the thousands of Google search terms that have recently led people to my blog and respond to a handful of them in a helpful Q&A format. If you'd like a slightly less confusing explanation, click here, and if not, read on (as always--search terms--verbatim--in bold italics, and my responses below):

Where the fuck can I buy sally hansen airbrush makeup?
Heeeeyyyy now! I think the real question here is "why so angry?" And why are you taking it out on Google? I suggest you spend some time with a therapist exploring your childhood to figure out those answers (perhaps a search engine stole your favorite toy in kindergarten?), and after that you can focus on the airbrush makeup, which, by the way, is in stock at the Walgreens down the street from my house. I'd be happy to send you some.

banana boobs muffin top bubble butt tubes
That is one of the most upsetting strings of words I've ever encountered.

awesome mouse house
So, I called my little brother Bob at 10 o'clock last night and said, "Hey, Bob, can you make me a picture of an 'awesome mouse house'?" An hour later he sent me this:

Yep, I'd say that's pretty awesome.

can i feel on your chocha
Absolutely not. But since I'm an exceedingly nice person, I've composed a list of pick-up lines for you that are better than "can i feel on your chocha":

• Hey, nice boobs!
• I must have died and gone to heaven because there's an angel standing right in front of me!
• you so hot global warming is jealous of you

can old people become hairdressers?
I believe so, yes.

conversation between apple and shoe
Ummm, if you insist...


custom funny pants
These are pretty funny.

how should a 40 year old man dentist dress?
Hmm...I would probably go with the classic green or blue scrubs, accented with some tasteful eyeglass frames and perhaps a necklace made of bloody human teeth.

badass boyfriend quiz
If you can answer "yes" to at least 3 of the following 5 questions, your boyfriend is probably a badass:

1. Does your boyfriend ride a motorcycle?
2. Does your boyfriend own a t-shirt that is bedazzled with the word "BADASS"?
3. When a condom falls out of your boyfriend's wallet in front of your evangelical minister father, does he say "oops," but in a sarcastic manner?
4. Has your boyfriend perfected the lean-against-a-wall-while-smoking-and-squinting-into-the-distance pose?
5. If your life were to be made into a movie, would your boyfriend be played by Shane West?

Now that's what I call a badass.

does Kroger sell sexual lubricant?
They surely do--I can vouch for that personally, because I once bought some for the least sexy reason ever.

gay porn cards for fathers day
This sounds like the best Father's Day ever.

i'm fasting and i'm hungry :(
Man, that's gotta suck. I've never gone more than two hours without eating, so I can't exactly relate, but, yeah, wow. BRB, I need some chocolate-covered almonds.

how spanx came to exist?
Oh child, you haven't heard the good news?

In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. And the earth had no form. It was empty, covered with darkness and water. Then the Spirit of God hovered over the water, and God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. God saw that the light was good.

Then He divided the light from the darkness. God called the light “Spanx,” and the darkness he called “satin bridesmaid dress.” And God saw that Spanx was good. Very, very good.

who are the shopbop models?
They are thin, pretty, and either very brave, or very foolish. Check out the saggy diaper dress pictured in the post below, and you decide.

p.s. Thanks to JessieB for reminding me that an installment of Inadvertently Ask Daddy Likey was long past due!

High Fashion Haiku

The fabulous Miss Elle of Broke and Beautiful tweeted about this drop-crotch jumpsuit harem romper dress...thing, and I couldn't resist echoing her thoughts in haiku form:

O! she's hangin' low-

Her "dress jumpsuit" looks to need
a diaper change, stat!

Rosa Cha Strapless Dress Jumpsuit, on sale for $139 (does not include baby wipes and rash cream), shopbop.com

Giveaway! The Best Photo Book in the History of the World (if I do say so myself)

One of the super fun projects I was working on earlier this year was National Geographic's Your Shot special issue--101 of the best photos from the magazine's popular Your Shot feature collected in a sleek little book.

I was lucky enough to be able to interview many of the featured photographers and craft clever little captions for their fabulous photos. Thanks to a talented group of designers and editors, the final product is just gorgeous:

(Hand not included. Sorry.)

Now that it has finally hit newsstands and bookstore shelves (and here!), I'd love to give away a copy to one lovely reader. Just leave a comment on this post, and I'll choose a winner at random this Friday.

And just in case you don't win the giveaway, please check out the persuasive list below:

Top 10 Reasons You Should Pick Up A Copy of
National Geographic's Your Shot Book

1. It includes a photo of a goat wearing a cardigan.

2. It's only $10.99, and features 101 incredible photos, which means that each picture pays you a dime. Or something like that.

3. You can consider your purchase a donation to the Don't Let Print Journalism Die fund.

4. It's the perfect gift for your brother, sister, mom, dad, aunt, uncle, cousin, friend, enemy, mentor, mail carrier, bikini waxer, parole officer, etc -- everybody loves cool pictures!

5. It says "Collector's Edition" on the cover, so when you display it in your home, your friends will think you are rich and refined.

6. In the span of a few pages, the images will make you gasp, laugh, and shed a tear. Maybe some other bodily functions, too, but I'm just speaking for myself here.

7. If you're so inclined, you can go here and upload your own photo to create a custom cover, then use it to impress potential lovers.

8. The pictures are so gorgeous that you'll want to lick them, and amazingly, they have zero calories!

9. My interview questions for the photographers included such gems as, "So, did the pigs always stand up when they heard the harmonica?" and "Why didn't your little brother let you stick the leaf blower in his face?" Intriguing, right?

10. It includes a photo of a goat wearing a cardigan. No joke.

Remember to leave a comment for your shot (teehehe!) at a free copy! And please check it out next time you're perusing the magazine rack. Thanks so much for your support!

Awesome Affordable Etsy Find of the Week

"Pink House on Scott Street" Postcard, $1.50

My friend Katelyn and I just got back from a quick trip to San Francisco, and it was pretty much the best experience of my life. When we were checking out of our hotel, I dramatically crumpled onto the counter and begged the desk clerk to give me a job as a housekeeper, even though I'm one of the messiest people in the world.

He politely declined, so now I'm plotting ways to move there and live in a pink Victorian house (with about 70 friends and acquaintances, of course, in order to make the rent reasonable) and eat custard buns from Chinatown every day. To quote J.P. from Angels in the Outfield, "Hey, it could happen!"