Hair On Demand...

Because one of my most charming and eloquent readers* sent me an email that said...let me make sure I'm quoting this correctly...ah yes..."WANT TO SEE THE NEW HAIR!"


The style seems to have settled into a happy (and wavy) middle ground between Posh Spice and Annie Camden, and it goes so great with pearls, which are required for the Capitol Hill Cliche look I'm going for. T-minus two days until DC! Eeep!

p.s. Cate, you know I love you, gurl.

Don't Show-cha Your Chocha, Volume XIV

Today is the day: it's time for another installment of Don't Show-cha Your Chocha, also known as Proof of the Imminent Extinction of the Bottom Half of the Outfit (click here for a slightly better explanation). I've been getting tons of fantastic submissions recently, so don't fret if you don't see yours here yet--there's plenty more to come!

Let's get down to it. Reader Amber alerted me that our beloved LuLu's Fashion Lounge is shaping up to be the next Shopbop, with these two examples among many chocha-rific offenders:


Meanwhile, Thomas noticed a similar trend on Facehunter:

Homegirl's ownin' it!

Katy found this one on Bluefly:

Her reaction: If mannequins had chochas, this one would be in serious trouble.

The next two are from Aubrey:

I love this one because the model is a pro. Her face is all business. and her lower half, is...practically all business.

To be fair this one is mostly intended as a bathing suit coverup, but by the expression on her face, she appears to be wondering what her dad's going to say about the current direction of her career.

Here we have the American Apparel "Shiny Too-Short Tube Dress:"

Bridget points out: At least they admit it with this one.

From Jess: I found this red carpet picture of two of The Chaser with their partners. I'd hate to see the model wearing the shirt the girl on the left is wearing as a dress. I suppose any chocha publicity is good publicity. That's my new motto, for sure.

Rachel sent me the following delightful email and horrifying screenshot:

OK, so you may have heard of Kira Plastinina already [editor's note: I hadn't, and I kind of wish I never did], but just in case, she's a 15-year-old Russian girl whose dad is super-rich and who therefore has the wherewithal to have her own clothing line with like 50 billion retail stores. One peek at the eye-scorchingly girly website treated me to this, um, crotch curtain. (Click the photo to see it bigger, if you dare.)

Ashley saw this shot of Danity Kane in Blender magazine and instantly thought, "Don't-cha Want Chocha?"

I think some poor middle schooler is missing a major component of her school uniform now....

Keeping with the theme of pants-less singers:

Says Robin: I don’t know if its just the angle of the shot, but I have never been happier for the invention of shadows. yes, shadows were invented. I just haven't decided by who quite yet.

And finally, Jill found one of my favorite DSYC's ever:

She says: Here's an unfortunate soul who is trying very hard to protect the last shred of modesty she has. She's tugging on one edge of the dress for goodness sakes! Yet another picture on the page has her face cropped out of it. To hide her embarrassment, I think.

Keep them chochas rollin in! Email me at daddylikeyblog@gmail.com

Straightening Irons, Tetanus Shots, and New Perspectives

I got a haircut last week, and I left the salon looking something like Victoria Beckham:


When I washed my hair and tried to style it on my own, I looked like the mom from 7th Heaven:

This was not a pleasant surprise.

I was at the Saturday Market this weekend, which takes place under a bridge in downtown Portland, when I felt something sharp puncture my sandal and enter my foot. I screamed, "Oh my god! I just got AIDS!" The pottery vendor next to me seemed a bit confused.


When I lifted up my foot to confirm my suspicions, I saw a dirty nail sticking out of it:

This was a pleasant surprise.

Leave No Daddy Likey Reader Behind

A fashion query I received from one of my readers, in the form of a story problem from an eighth grade American standardized test:

You are a fashion blogger. One of your readers writes to you in great distress. Her parents have forced her to move to a new school and she is now a slave to a brutal dress code! Her clothes must abide by the following rules:

PANTS:

-Khaki, navy blue, or black slacks must be worn. Capri pants are acceptable. Knee-length shorts, skirts, or jumpers are allowed.

-Pants must be worn at the natural waist line, no sagging is allowed

-Pants must be hemmed

-No denim, fleece, spandex, or leather pants are allowed

-Pants must be twill, or cotton-twill blends

SHIRTS

-School t-shirts are acceptable

-Polo-style shirts with three buttons, collars, and short or long sleeves are acceptable

-Shirts must be loose fitting and must cover the midriff with arms raised

No piercings, tattoos, or mohawks.

This reader can spend $120, at most, on new school clothes. She wants to look cool and unique, despite living under this soulless cotton-twill blend regime. Where do you suggest she find some cute clothes that won't get her suspended?

Answer:

If I were a fashion blogger, I would tell this reader to get her hands on a pair of affordable black pants (cotton, of course!) and build some chic, rule-abiding outifts around them. Maybe these:

Black: check. Cotton-blend: check. Not too low rise: check. Flattering fit, unfrumpy cut, affordable price: triple bonus check!

Lightweight bootcut trouser, $29(!), ladylanguage.com

Once she has this classic base down, she can secure the permits to begin construction on more interesting outfits. I can't tell if polo-style shirts are required or just strongly suggested, so just to stay on the safe side, I'll assume they're required. Since her school's dictators neglected to place restrictions on shirt colors (suckahs!), she could take advantage and go for bright colors and patterns on top. This would be a cute, within regulation combo:

Fitted Polo (hopefully that's three buttons, I can't tell!), $10, Old Navy

Boyfriend Cardigan, $29.50, alloy.com

If it turns out that the dictators do have rules about shirt colors, don't fret! Get a polo or tee in black or white and play with accessories to funk it up--wear a tie (hey, if the boys can, she can!), layer some necklaces, add a colorful scarf or some bracelets. Layer a colorful cardigan like the one above, or maybe a basic sweater vest like the one below, over even the most basic, boring, non rule-breaking shirt, and she's guaranteed to look great!

Rory Cardi Vest, $29.50, delias.com

Next, I would tell her to exploit the loophole in the law and flaunt some supremely badass shoes.

Darjeeling Express Flats, $34.99 (10% off if you use coupon "blog"), modcloth.com

Rocket Dog "Gracie," $49.99 (plus free shipping!), solestruck.com

Mossimo "Darby" Heels (I've heard these are mega comfy!), $24.99, target.com

If they bust you for your crazy shoes, at least you'll go down with dignity. And check out this post if you want to play it a little safer with your footwear choices.

Another way to look good, no matter the dress code--use some of your money for a fierce haircut. Sure, mohawks aren't allowed, but they didn't say nothin' 'bout blunt cut bangs, a chic pixie cut, or a trendy bob. Rockin' hair could almost salvage a school t-shirt.

If I were a fashion blogger, I would also ask my other readers if they'd gone to schools with dress codes, and how they managed to look fabulous, cotton-twill be damned. Anyone?

My Jeans Are So Bright, I've Gotta Wear Shades

(This picture does NOT truly illustrate their brightness--I was blinded this morning when I opened my pants drawer.)

When I saw these neon yellow jeans on the J. Crew sale rack, the following thoughts flashed through my mind, in the following order:

1. Hahaha! God those are ugly.
2. Who would buy those? Apparently nobody.
3. They wouldn't look good on anyone.
4. Well, they would probably look good on Queen Michelle, but Queen Michelle would look good in a pickle barrel with shoulder straps.
5. God I hate Queen Michelle.
6. Hmm...they seem to be in my size.
7. Isn't it a sign from God when the last pair of neon yellow jeans is in your EXACT size?
8. I probably don't want to defy God.
9. But dude, neon yellow?
10. Holy hell, they're an extra 40% off $19.99.
11. Duh. They're neon yellow jeans. That's why they're an extra 40% off.
12. Still, that's hella cheap.
13. I suppose if I ever got lost in the wilderness, I could use them to flag down the search planes.
14. If I just buy them now, that saves me a trip to REI to buy a search plane flagger downer.
15. These pants will save my life.
16. I'm buying them.

Stay tuned for details on how the hell I'm going to work these into my wardrobe.

Sporadic Blogging Update

I'm sorry for my sporadic posting schedule recently! I'm pretty distracted right now because next week I'm leaving for Washington DC to do a three-month internship. (Remember when I said I wanted to move there? Holla!)

I'm super excited and trying to make the most of my dwindling time in Oregon by drinking lots of coffee, hanging out with friends, and jumping up and down shrieking, "I'm super excited!" Sadly, blogging has taken a backseat to these important rituals.

I'm working on a couple posts right now and I'll have at least one up later today (hang in there, Skylar!). As always, thanks so much for reading Daddy Likey!

SIX Men's Fashion First Impressions: Why does the bag have a crotch?

Nope, that's not a capitalized three-letter typo that happens to make sense in context, you read it right: today is a landmark day in Daddy Likey history. Today (well, actually last Friday, but I was too busy to post until now), I decided to shake things up and keep the Five Men on their divalicious toes by inviting a guest Man to share his first impression of a fashion item. (Click here if you're a new reader and want an explanation of this confusing "Five Men" business.)


The natural choice for the first ever Sixth Man (disregarding Kadeem Hardison's masterful performance, forgive me) was Mr. Thomas Wong from The Sunday Best, a longtime fan of FMFFI and style maven (manven?) extraordinaire.

For today's special installment of SMFFI, I decided to show the men something a little more subtle than, say, this, something fairly mainstream with fairly strange details, something that could make an articulate and stylish blogger exclaim, "It looks like it has boobs!" Something like this:

Alexander Wang Zipper Hobo (Click to see it bigger), $796, shopbop.com

And now, the men:

Father: It looks kind of scrotal with zippers. There is nothing about it that makes me happy.

Boyfriend: I'm just really confused by it. Does it come apart in the middle so you can make two bags?
Me: Like an amoeba?
Boyfriend: Yeah! Cool.

Brother, age 21: It looks like an ass.

Brother, age 18: Obviously stolen from the set of an early eighties German porno.

Bob: A robot's butt? I don't know. It doesn't look all that strange really. Too many zippers. It seems like if you opened that zipper in the middle all of your stuff would fall out.

Aaaaannnnnnddd last but not least:

The Sixth Man: It looks like short pants for German midget fetish play. Wait, it's a bag. Why is there a zipper in the bag's crotch? Why does the bag have a crotch?

Not bad, Thomas, not bad at all.

As always, if you'd like to hear the men's opinions on a particular fashion item, send me an email. And if you'd like to nominate yourself or an opinionated man in your life to be the Sixth Man sometime in the future, write me a short poem around the theme: "Men and Fashion" and I'll consider it.

Comfortable Pumps: The Final Frontier

And now, I present to you, one of the most entertaining emails I've ever received:

Winona! I am on a quest!

*Dramatic shot of the earth, ancient Mesopotamia*

For thousands of years, all humans have searched and scoured the globe...there is one thing they all want...

The fountain of youth?

NO.

A pair of comfortable pumps for the office.

Archaeologist talking:

"Ever since the beginning of history, we have seen evidence of such a things existence. For, example, in ancient Egyptian hieroglyphs, we have seen pictures of what evidently seems to be a platform heel, with this light symbol around it...what was called in Egypt, The Great Heel of Thoth. It was sacredly worshiped."

Okay, Winona, I think you get the point. I'm a geeky girl and I've never really had a need for heels..before.. but now I've got a new job in a..*gasp* office environment. Is there such a thing as the coveted, treasured comfortable heels so that my quest to the water cooler isn't painful?

If you help me, I'll give you Patrick Stewart. (yes, he's been locked in my basement for about 10 years)

Love,
Trekkie girl

Dear Trekkie,

I have to admit that I would be more enthused to answer your query if your hostage trade involved Commander Riker (I could never resist his steely gaze and immaculately groomed deep space goatee), but whatever.

What ten-year-old girl could resist?

Back to the task at hand (or....foot?). Here are some things to look for in your quest for a comfortable high heel:

• Thick heel (very trendy right now, so there are tons of cute options in stores)
• Padded footbed (or "mushy insides" if you only speak Kindergarten Teacher)
  
• Slightly flexible materials
• The decrepit shack of a voodoo witch doctor with a sign hanging out front that says "Specializing in comfortable heels"

Way back when, I sang the praises of NeoNaturalizer, the shoe brand that I would totally be my best friend if it were a human. See, NeoNaturalizer is like the chubby kid in your second grade class who wore glasses and hand-me-down Power Rangers t-shirts--they grew up with something to prove, so now they're fun and funny and generous. In contrast, if a Jimmy Choo shoe were a human, he would have starred in a Welches Grape Juice commercial in second grade and enjoyed a life of steady good looks and popularity. He wouldn't have grown up to be super interesting because he never had to be and if you said "Hey Jimmy, you're hurting my feet," he'd probably say something smug like, "Yeah, but I look damn good," and you would just put up with the pain because he's right.

What I'm trying to say is: Naturalizer now makes shoes that are comfy and cute. Behold:

Top: "Fentress," $35 on sale; above: "Mager" (What's up with these names?), $79, naturalizer.com

Totally sassy and cute, right? Now, usually these heels would be way too high and skinny to maintain any semblance of comfort, but NeoNaturalizer is a special case. I hear they keep a voodoo witch doctor on staff.

Speaking of special cases, Aerosoles could also join NeoNaturalizer and me in our clique of former chubby kids (how's this metaphor doing? Hanging on?). Their website is chock full of comfy/cute finds like these:

I love the little details of this style--from the button to the textured sole to the unique colors, they're...how should I put this?...mega badass.
Aerosoles "Cover Charge" Mary Jane, $63 (sale lasts til August 18th), aerosoles.com

Cole Haan's line of classy pumps with magical Nike Air insoles are also an option, although they're pretty spendy and may have an unsettling side effect:

Top: Cole Haan "Fiona" Air High Pump, $215; Above: Cole Haan "Jena" Air High Pump, $279, both from zappos.com

And here's my last, but certainly not least, example:

Thick heel and padded footbed + chic patent leather and rounded toe = THE GLEAMING MESSIAH OF COMFORTABLE SHOES. Seriously, I'm not even being dramatic (I never am). Could these shoes get any cuter? Pair 'em with any number of hosiery options, a flippy skirt and a blazer and you could look fabulous at work and seduce Commander Riker. Hott.
Franco Sarto "Nap" Pump, $78.95, nordstrom.com

So what about you, fabulous, well-dressed reader? You were so immensely helpful with this query that I thought I'd ask again: What kind of shoes do you wear to the office? Do you have a favorite brand for comfy high heels? Any voodoo witch doctors in the audience tonight?

Parsley, Sage, Rosemary, and Fabric Paint

I'm not sure what made me go into the art supply store last week. Maybe it was because I accidentally sat next to the virtuoso in my guitar class (she played a flawless rendition of "Scarborough Fair" while I was using my right index finger to physically push my midget pinkie toward the vicinity of the fifth fret. Come on!) and I needed some creative catharsis. OK, yeah, that was definitely it.

I ended up buying two little tubs of fabric paint because they were metallic purple and gold and on sale, and I finally got a chance to play with them today. Here's my first attempt to spice up an old white t-shirt I found sitting at the bottom of my drawer:

It's not Scarborough Fair, but hey, what is?

Maybe someday I'll reach that fifth fret and buy myself a third color to celebrate.

Interview Time at The Fashion Time!

Check out an interview with me over at The Fashion Time Magazine for deep insights on fall trends, "chocharific" couture, the slightly fascist Jet Li Fan Club my best friend and I founded in high school, and much more.

Thanks so much to Kamola and MG for their superb interview questions and for writing perhaps the greatest introduction in history (which includes deft references to Echo & the Bunnymen and my rattlesnake-catching father).

I had so much fun with this and I hope you enjoy it!

An Open Letter to This Girl:

Dear Beautiful, Stylish, Graceful, Non-Sweaty Girl on a Bike,

How do you do it?

Seriously.

I get on a bike for five minutes and my hair is a frizzy mess, I'm drenched in sweat, I'm splotchy red, I'm wheezing, I'm complaining about severe ass pain, my bag is getting caught in my spokes, one or both shoes is flying off into an intersection in front of a police officer, and all the while you're gliding by like a J. Crew catalog breeze.

I really enjoy biking, but the aesthetic aftermath is brutal: I almost got kicked out of a store today because I looked like a particularly disheveled vagrant. I'm assuming this never happens to you.

I'm so curious--do your magical powers extend to other areas of your life? Do you go home and make perfectly puffed soufflés, just because? Are you the kind of person who can wear a white jersey dress and without resembling a large container of ricotta cheese and go the whole night without spilling large amounts of coffee, ketchup, and red wine in your lap? Do you ever watch The King of Queens? It's actually really funny.

So, what's your secret? Does it involve the souls of children? Am I warm? Because I'm sweating.

Cordially,
Winona

Photo via The Sartorialist

Martin Don't Want No Salad Shoes

I want to love this shoe. Really, I do:

So much potential, right? A little forest! On a shoe! Clever! But when it comes down to it, there's just too much roughage, not enough tuna.

XOXO,
Martin

Shoe from Jethro Hayne's fantastic website. Thanks Rachel P!

p.s. If you're sitting at your desk right now thinking, "Ummm...so what's up with the raccoon talking about tuna?" and you're referring to the raccoon featured above, not the raccoon in your head who's constantly talking about tuna (just checking), click here for the Martin intro.

Comment of the Week

'Guyliner?' Really? That needs to go back to from Wentz it came.
~Buoy


(also check out her hilarious post describing what it takes to be a "Wentz")

Blogback Mountain!

If you think my boyfriend didn't suffer for Ambika's boyfriend's amazing gift giving prowess ("Niiiiiiiiicccckk! You never get me custom-made stingray necklaces!!"), then you would be wrong.

Kingdom of Style has fantastic tips for blogging success. Of course, the Queens' sassy combination of writing talent, hot legs, sparkling wit, gorgeous red hair, perfect bangs, photography skills, and killer style probably helped a little too.

A slightly jaded Oregonian's insights on life in Southern California.

I think these watches are bright enough to illuminate nighttime bike rides, which would be a marked improvement from the all-black ensembles I tend to get caught in on summer evenings, pedaling for my life and shrieking "Why is the sun setting?? It's only 10!"

Would you hire the adorable Christine?

A chic apartment tour from someone who actually knows how to use a camera (see post below for my attempt/fail).

TO DO: Weave a thousand tulips into a living room rug.

The end of an era. (Maybe.)

I love any post that refers to MASH (the adolescent girl game, of course, not the hit TV show), and I really love any post that advocates for the Shack option. Therefore, I really love this post.

A confession from my Tumblr blog.

Members Only just got officially stylish. But hey, I always thought they were stylish.

And finally, Thomas has the quote of the year with this: "In what way is Guyliner different from any other eyeliner? Is it composed of BBQed steaks?"

A Slightly Crooked Tour of Chez Daddy Likey

So, you know how sometimes you move into a new place and promise to post pictures ASAP but then for the first couple months you have to choose between food and home decor and you choose food and then you put up some cool stuff but then the whole apartment complex undergoes massive renovations and they tear out a bunch of your drywall and black out your windows and force you to live like sad little moles and almost ruin your relationship with your boyfriend and finally that's over with and just when you're about to take a picture of your cool apartment you realize that you need to vacuum, like, really bad, and then on your way to get the vacuum you get distracted by a preview for Step Up 2 the Streets (really? Still steppin' up?) and all of a sudden it's EIGHT MONTHS later and you still haven't posted pictures?

Yeah, me too.

Well, finally, eight months in the making, I'd like to show you....my poorly photographed living room (click on any picture for detail view):

After the Spice Girls concert I joked to my boyfriend that we should buy a concert poster and make it the centerpiece of our living room. He said, "Let's do it."

I love to cluster different mediums in different frames: photography next to paintings next to pages from old Life magazines my dad found at the dump (score!). In other news, contrary to how it looks in this photo, these frames are all straight and even...as is the wall. I seem to be incapable of taking a good picture today.

Clockwise from top left: Buddhist quote, happy dinosaur tile by Rachel, pink lady painting by me, protest photo of Nick and me, half naked Scott holding a penguin print by Rachel, picture of my mom teaching a chimp sign language (and I can't even hold a camera straight, damnit).

The framed newspaper on the right is my boyfriend's prize possession.

Where the magic happens.

Here's our ode to Washington DC in wall form. I found that giant regal frame at Goodwill and it ended up being the perfect size to showcase our beloved protest sign.

The famous "other side" of the living room, featuring the guitar I use to shred the hell out of "G."

My friend Rachel painted this giant red Converse like five years ago and I begged and manipulated and bribed and guilt-tripped her to give it to me every day since. She finally succumbed last Christmas (thank you Rachy!). Vintage maps from a rad paper store in LA.

Creepy painting from my grandma's basement.

Typewriter from my grandma's basement (seriously the best place for bargains during a recession).

I love big noses.

My favorite piece in the whole house is this giraffe printed on canvas I found at an estate sale for $8. Above is Nick's John Lennon lyric sheet. To the left is a broken venetian blind, because at Chez Daddy Likey, it's pure class all the way!

I'm obsessed with vintage advertising, especially these classic VW Beetle ads.


Nick bought me this fantastic vintage chair a couple years ago to use at a vanity, but at our new place I put my glamorous makeup on in the bathroom instead, so we were struggling to find a way to work the chair in. I finally decided to use it as a pretty shelf to display a stack of our most pretentious books, and I really like how it came out.

That's all I've got for now. Let me know if you want to see any different detail shots or know where a particular item is from or what a particular item is (for example, the hot pink shape in the photo above is indeed a bust of Richard Wagner).