Monday, October 30, 2006
Lancome and Venom: The $17 Difference
I love Lancome Bi-Facil eye makeup remover. It is magical. It washes away even industrial-strength mascara but is supergentle to the eyes. It is gentle enough that if a sadistic intruder broke into my house for the sole purpose of torturing me, I could use reverse psychology and say "Do anything! Anything! But whatever you do, don't pour makeup remover in my eye!!" and then he would cackle at my incompetence and grab the Bi-Facil and hold my eye open and pour the entire bottle into it and I would feign intense suffering, and then, when he was satisfied that he'd tortured me adequately, he would leave, and I would laugh the last laugh because, really, what kind of sadistic intruder doesn't know about the famed mildness of Bi-Facil?? And these are the things I think about when I'm taking my makeup off...
Anyway, my Lancome love was cemented this past week when I bought a bottle of L'Oreal eye makeup remover. I thought, hey, L'Oreal is Lancome's cheaper little sister; I could save some major moolah (L'Oreal is around $6; Lancome is $23), why not? But when I splashed it onto a cotton pad and rubbed it in and around my eye as haphazardly as I'd come to use Bi-Facil, I found that the $17 difference really, well, makes a difference. It felt like my eye was being burned out of my face. So not magical.
I'm not sure if my eyes have been spoiled by expensive French cosmetics and simply rejected the drugstore version as if it were the wrong blood type or if L'Oreal's version really is completely inferior to Lancome. I've been using it for a few days now, trying to build up a tolerance to the pain like those guys that make rattlesnakes bite them a whole bunch and then pretty soon they're immortal, but it's not working. Perhaps rattlesnake venom would help in this situation too? I just need some more Bi-Facil, damnit.