Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Daddy. No. Likey.

Okay. It's time to call out the stretch jersey cropped gaucho. If you happen to own a pair of these, don't worry, you're not a bad person. I just really want you to know, as a friend, that whenever you wear them, every last one of your downtown lady bits are on clear display.

I'm just gonna be blunt here. You look like this:

And this is a professional photo, people. I get it, I get it. I'm sure they're super comfy and they can so easily transition from casual to classy blah blah blah...lies! A girl walked by me today wearing these, and I could have given her an accurate body fat assessment from 20 feet away. They show everything.

Jersey is a notoriously unforgiving fabric. Jersey is your mean friend from junior high: phony, disloyal, and determined to make you look fat. So why are we stretching this mean friend as tightly as possible across our backsides?

Ditch 'em. It's for your own good.

Usually down here I would give you the link so you can find the products in the pictures, but...no.


fauxyou said...

Ha. They definitely aren't my friends.

Mary said...

I SO agree with you and have since I first laid eyes on them. Know which trends to pass on ladies!

kimber said...

this picture may be trying to portray itself as "professional" but it aint foolin me! i understand its hard to keep a pair of white flip flops as pristine as the day you bought em, but for real...dont let the model wear her year old dirty thongs in a photo shoot where her feet [and god forbit her "lady bits"] are showing! NOT professional.

cate said...

this post....still makes me sad. my mom mademe throw away my last holdout pair this past saturday, and i needed a reminder that she's not mean and evil for telling me that she can see my vagina. dammit.

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