Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Daddy. No. Likey.
Okay. It's time to call out the stretch jersey cropped gaucho. If you happen to own a pair of these, don't worry, you're not a bad person. I just really want you to know, as a friend, that whenever you wear them, every last one of your downtown lady bits are on clear display.
I'm just gonna be blunt here. You look like this:
And this is a professional photo, people. I get it, I get it. I'm sure they're super comfy and they can so easily transition from casual to classy blah blah blah...lies! A girl walked by me today wearing these, and I could have given her an accurate body fat assessment from 20 feet away. They show everything.
Jersey is a notoriously unforgiving fabric. Jersey is your mean friend from junior high: phony, disloyal, and determined to make you look fat. So why are we stretching this mean friend as tightly as possible across our backsides?
Ditch 'em. It's for your own good.
Usually down here I would give you the link so you can find the products in the pictures, but...no.