Monday, September 18, 2006
I came across this while looking online for cute belts. Obviously, this one didn't fit into that category, but something told me to save the photo, that someday I just might need to reference a giant, assymetrical $425 Ostrich belt from Saks Fifth Avenue and it would be good to have a photo on file.
I was completely wrong. This belt has done nothing but haunt my dreams. I seriously couldn't sleep last night. There are so many questions! Who would wear this? How would you wear it? Where would you wear it? Have they actually sold any of these? They claim it's ostrich but don't you think it looks more like Stegosaurus? Could Saks Fifth Avenue be harboring a secret Stegosaurus farm solely for the purpose of producing these grotesque belts? If so, should I alert the authorities? And does "Stegosaurus" need to be capitalized?
It looks like someone took an ostrich (or perhaps a Stegosaurus), sliced a line down its belly, grabbed the skin on either side, peeled it off, added a buckle, and put it on the Saks Fifth Avenue website, all in the span of about 10 minutes. It looks like it would leave an outline of ostrich blood on your clothes after you take it off. Maybe it's just me, but I don't like my clothes to look so...fresh.
This post is pure Stegosaurus belt catharsis. I don't want to suffer alone anymore.
Godspeed, my friends, Godspeed.